My mom asked me the question not long ago. "Why don't you blog anymore?"
She was reading it. Some of my other relatives too, while I was gone to Colorado, were reading it, hoping I'd post from there. I honestly don't know who else read the stuff; but Mama, she wanted to know why I wasn't writing anymore.
"I don't have time," was the evasive answer I gave her. The easy way out.
In reality, that's only the tip of the iceberg. A legitimate reason, it's certainly a factor. What is time these days, anyway? Every morning I get up, I put on the same makeup, I get in my truck and go to work or I go to school and then I come home every night dead exhausted, too tired to do anything but laugh at the things my sister says. I haven't written in months, not like I used to. For awhile I thought it was because I got lazy, but no. It was because life got so big all of a sudden it overpowered the words.
The truth is, I went away to Colorado for five weeks, I came home, and I have more to say than ever before, but I don't quite know the words to use yet.
Colorado changed me, for sure, but I think what changed me more was coming back home and seeing everything differently. I found out who I am by playing the part of someone I'm not. I found my swag, and it's not flashy or expensive. More like a ballcap and a helping hand. The two best things I ever heard said about me came from two of the people who know me best - my sister, who periodically tells me I'm hilarious, and my crazy cousin, who says I am bold. If I could be known for two things, that's not a bad deal. I want to be bold, and I live to make people laugh.
Brantley Gilbert says it the way I wish I could, but only he can because he's the boss:
The ones that need me got me
The ones that doubt me can't stop me
Even the ones that said, forget him
You can bet they ain't forgot me
Either wanna hit me or hold me
The ones that hate me don't know me
And the ones that don't trust anybody trust me
Yeah, the ones that like me love me.
Now I'm as settled as I ever was in this valley, my stomping grounds, where the ones that need me got me. And now I ache like crazy to write again. I thank my Lord for one heck of a summer, and for bringing me right back where He wants me.
It feels so good to be writing from this space again. There will be more stories coming, I promise you! Thanks for sticking around.
~Emma
