a "flaming testament" // 2017

(that's from a song by Mark Knopfler, just so you know the truth, I'm not that creative)

A year is over! As usual I feel myself a little stunned, but not very stunned, because I don't have time to be that stunned. I feel about a hundred years older after this one.

2017, let's see what happened....

// January //

• I try to write songs, but that never really takes off. :-P

• I apply for jobs, and start working Saturdays at a little store in my neighborhood.

• Sadie, Henry and I go bowling one night, and I discover how much I love something I used to dislike.

• I watch Texas Rising. And... yeah.

• I find Wind River Ranch, fill out a big fat application, send the dang thing, and wait for awhile without breathing.

• I take the placement test for college and start my first class there, which I didn't think I would like, but as per usual, I was wrong.

• Sadie turns 16 and we go sledding, then Molly turns 21 and we go bowling. 

"I didn't know Emma was going to be this girl."

 - Mama

// February //

• I turn 18 on the 2nd, and Sadie convinces me to have a party. We finally make the red velvet armadillo cake I'd been wanting ever since I saw Steel Magnolias for the first time four years ago.

looks like an armadillo, right? Don't say a rat.

• I start another job, working as a waitress. Scared the heck out of me but I was determined to try....

• I have a phone interview with one of the directors from Wind River, and I-kid-you-not I started to cry when he prayed for me at the beginning. Over the phone.

• I spend too much time disliking school and disliking my job....

• My mom and sisters and I watch Downton Abbey on Valentine's Day.

• I wake up to the value of a dollar when I spend way too many of them on a t-shirt with a logo on it, then think about it all the way home. I vow to be a better steward with my money. (Funny part is, I don't even wear the shirt anymore.)

• The Squad - consisting of Henry, Sadie, and Emma - go to an indoor rodeo with some of our super-duper cool friends. Emma doesn't get asked out like she always hopes for (used to) when she goes to rodeos, but we have a good time. ;-)

• Sadie and I start going to a friend's youth group. Why did I have to wait till I was almost too old to find the best youth group ever?

• Henry turns 17 and we redneck out as usual.

"Consider yourself on the team."

(I got the job at the ranch!!!!!)

// March // 

• I find out that Les Mis is my history teacher's favorite musical and start to like him a lot more.

• I really don't like my job, but I stick with it...

• We go bowling with Henry's youth group, play bloody wrists and Indian wrestle with kids younger than me.

• I drive through a lotta farmland and vineyards (I really do love NY) and dream about the future.

• My mom, my sisters and I take a mini-vacation to PA, stop at my aunt's where Sadie and I see a Gold City concert at their church. Then we go to a Florida-Georgia Line at Stage College. I've never seen so many people in one place in my LIFE. 

• I kinda wish I was Mennonite. For awhile. (Blame Pennsylvania.)

• I watch The Alamo (2004) again which reinforces my faith in mankind and, well, men.

"I know how you like to write and write and write."

- my history teacher

// April //

• I buy an iPhone and joined the modern age!

• I discover Ryan Bingham, which is noteworthy.

• I sell the cap that I bought with my truck! Yay money!

• I buy (I buy a lot of things don't I???) another pair of cowboy boots from the coolest Amish guy ever. Colorado here I come!

• Easter comes and we eat a lot of mini cheesecakes. 

•  A guy leaves his number on my truck door and I tear it up and throw it out.

• I start a job driving my neighbor to therapy appointments - might not sound like it but SO much fun.

• Sadie and Henry and I win a talent show with our little band!

• We go to a Cowboy's Spring Ball and two-step the night away in cowboy boots.

"Emma's cool - she's bold."
- my cousin Henry

// May //

• We have our own annual spring ball with the dance group, and it's SO nice because I'm not crushing on anybody this year.

• I plant stuff and watch it grow! Yee yee!

• Henry, Peter, Sadie and I go on a wild goose chase to find a dance we'd heard about...finally we find it, are not impressed, leave, and laugh all the way home, harder than I had in a long time.

• I quit my job...and then quit my other job.

• Henry takes us to a horseshoeing clinic with a bunch of Amish guys. Completely lit. (But kinda weird.)

• I have a plane ticket to Denver, Colorado!

• I also have a plane ticket to San Antonio, Texas - my uncle and I go down there to visit my cousin for a week. 

I never fell in love with a land like I did with Texas.

// June //

• I catch a fish for the first time in my life!

• I graduate from high school...sort of. I kind of missed that. But at any rate I finish!

• I get recognized at church for graduating and get a brand new beautiful Bible and almost die from all the love.

• As usual, change is the only constant.

• A bunch of people come over to our barn to celebrate Molly's graduation from college and mine from high school. Again, I almost die from the love. 

• My Grandpa writes some Bible verses in my graduation card, I look them up and some of them don't exist... ;-P

• We open the stand for the season and start picking strawberries every morning, and I'm in my glory.

• My cousins and I go to the Stateline Speedway for the first time and I fall in love with the smells of rubber and dust clouds.

• Sadie starts to drive more.

• I start to get sick of picking strawberries...

"Hey - congratulations."

- New Guy

// July //

• I get to sing the National Anthem at a 4th of July festival at my aunt and uncle's church. They say 5000 people were there. 

• My truck breaks down in the middle of nowhere on the way home that very same night...

• I find out that the guy I met at the fire hall, the one who showed up uninvited to my graduation party, is actually the same age as I am and not 20-something like I thought.

• I start to like the guy I met at the fire hall, the one who showed up uninvited to my graduation party.

• I read Roy Feek's book, This Life I Live. People should read that book.

• I have blood drawn for the first time and feel like I'm gonna die (but I survive)

• Sadie, Henry, and I go to see Chris Stapleton and I almost fall asleep driving home.

• I take off for Denver...and that was an ordeal. 

• Emma Jane Anderson arrives in Colorado!

// August //

• I work as wait staff, housekeeping, and even in childcare (AHHHH!) at Wind River Ranch.

• A few girls and I go to Redrocks Church in Arvada one night, and for the first time I feel glad I came to CO.

• I miss home something terrible and try to console myself listening to Brantley Gilbert at night.

• I learn a lot about service to others, faithfulness when I'm far away from people I love, and being my own person in a strange place.

• Glen Campbell dies :-(

• I finally make friends with the other girls, and my heart actually breaks when I have to leave.

"I love you, you little noise in the other room."

- Samantha

// September //

• I GO HOME!

• Sadie and I drive to Ohio for a homeschool graduate's retreat. 

• I start going to college, and am relatively unimpressed. My English teacher doesn't give out 100s. (wtf?)

• Sadie and I go to the Mother Earth News Fair with our friends and I get to meet Joel Salatin! Also I get a hotel room in my name for the first time. Pretty weird.

• We have a bonfire at the Brown's house and cook a squirrel, play Red Rover, and roast marshmallows.

• I decide to join the fire department.

• We go bowling, and I see him again, and it's good to be home.

"I saw a strike."

- New Guy/Mike

// October //

• Tom Petty dies and I start listening to his music for the first time.

• We find a kitty living in the upstairs of our barn and I name him Casper...until I find out he's a she.

• The shooting in Las Vegas happens and Eric Church writes a song about it.

• I start blogging again.

• Molly comes home from college for a visit! 

• We have a hayride. I leave a note on his truck at school inviting him to come, and he does.

• I buy a puppy from an Amish man, and name him Henley after Don Henley. 

• We go over to Mike's house for a bonfire. He shows me his turkeys and we play sneaks in the woods and afterwards he checks my arms for scratches with a flashlight and I'm not really sure why it sticks in my mind?

• We go to a Halloween party at the Brown's house, play sneaks in the dark, I lose my pocketknife, and as we're driving away Mike flashes his blue light.  

• We close the stand for the year and I buy a huge pumpkin from an Amish kid for $10 because ours are all gone.

"Emma doesn't act weird. She laughs really loudly."

- Sadie

// November //

• We go out, and say we'll do it again.

• My mom and Sadie and I go to see Molly at school and tour the city of Rochester. I sniff out a Carhartt outlet store and spend too much money.

• I get a job at Tractor Supply.

• We have our costume ball, and I go dressed up as Mia from La La Land.

• I fly to Indiana for a few days to visit my friend Allie. We go to see Only the Brave and it's the best movie I've seen in a long, long time. I think about Veterans' Day a lot more this year than I ever have before.

• I keep going to school, working on the other days, and seeing him.

• I have a day off and Sadie and I go Christmas shopping and just drive around in the country like we used to when we had no responsibilities. 

• I become a member of the fire department.

• Mike and I go to the rodeo at Sundance and listen to Firefall and Bread all the way home.

• I take a class for first responders on drug labs and get a little freaked out because the world is a messed-up place, but reassured too because there are people who deal with it.

• Mike takes me hunting, and I shoot his 20 gauge. We use his math homework as a target.

• My head is full of numbers, cash registers, fire engines, blue lights, and puppies.

• I go to my first call, a vehicle off the road after hitting a deer. I don't do much except carry the chainsaw back to the truck.

• I go to my second call, on Christmas morning. We lose the patient, but I'm extremely proud of my guys.

• We have an unexpected and sorta weird but happy Christmas :-)

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

- Philippians 4:6-7

Happy 2018 everyone!

Life and describing it

     Charles Lindbergh said, "Life is like a landscape. You live in the midst of it, but can describe it only from the vantage point of distance." For a few weeks now I've been trying to come up with a way to write something here - the blog post my mother has been asking me for, the one my writer brain, now much underappreciated, has been begging me to let loose. I wanted to describe life, in all its color and all its freezing-cold December glory. But lately, life transcends description, at least any I can come up with and communicate with my fingers. (Oh, how good it feels to type! And not even something expected to be graded by a teacher! Keyboard, have I missed you or have I missed you?!) My little world is a lot less little than it used to be, for a number of reasons. I can't describe it to you. But I can tell you about it, at least in a small part.

***********

     First of all, how was everyone's Christmas? As a retail worker, I'm happy to report that I survived, though it was close; as a new and very green member of my town's fire department, I was part of a scene that made me very sad but also gave me an even greater respect and admiration for the guys in my department, just when I didn't think a greater respect was even possible; as an Anderson girl I tried to be helpful and somehow, even though it was so snowy half of our family couldn't show up, we had ourselves a fine celebration. It was kind of like that one Christmas episode of The Waltons where everyone is somewhere different: Jason and Daddy are cutting a tree out of the church roof, Grandma and Grandpa are stuck in Charlottesville, John-boy and Mary Ellen are rescuing a little girl from a car accident, and nobody knows where anyone else is. In the end my family was all together in our warm little house and I was so, so grateful for them all.

***********

     In other news... The depreciation of my truck is becoming increasingly apparent. For about a month now I've had trouble with the driver side door, getting it shut and keeping it shut, which sounds like not so big of a deal when you think of other possible mishaps like losing a tire or smashing a headlight. Well, last night leaving work, the latch was frozen together and no matter what I tried with it, the door would. not. shut. I figured I could hold it on the way home. A simple plan...except it's no easy feat to hold your door shut, steer the truck, shift the gears, and operate the windshield wipers, all with only two arms. The bottom dropped out of the thermometer, the temperature was so cold, and I may have forgot to mention this but my defroster is under-functioning (translate: doesn't work for crap). By the time I slid into my driveway last night I had decided I need a new truck. By new, I mean, you know, maybe twenty years old instead of thirty.

    While I was defrosting myself on the hearth, I expressed these concerns to my mother and father. "I want another truck!" I whined. Mama tried to talk me down, offering suggestions, but I was so mad I wouldn't be reasoned with. "I can't drive this in the winter anymore! I need a new one!" I bawled.

     I would never, EVER get rid of my Ranger. Until I have a child I think I could never love anything more. But here's the thing. You need a truck you can rely on. You need your every day driver, and then you have your little Ranger, when the sky is clear and the roads are bare and the temperature is balmy. I tried to explain all this.
 
     "You're absolutely right," my dad said, and that was all he said.

     That is the difference between my mother and my father.

*************

     Before this fall, I had never been hunting. My daddy has never hunted. In the summertime he shoots blackbirds when they eat the sweet corn, but besides that he doesn't get into the whole sport of it. However, my guy hunts, and so I figured I'd better go along and see what it was all about. Besides a little pink Mossy Oak ball cap I bought on a whim once when I was trying to be all cute and 'country,' I don't own any camouflage, but he had a coat and a hat that he let me borrow, as well as an orange vest, so I wouldn't be mistaken for a deer and get shot. (I wouldn't have liked that, and I don't think he would have either.) We sat out in the woods for awhile and talked about things that do not relate to deer-hunting in the slightest. We did see one doe on that excursion, and he took a shot at it, but she got away. We named her Agnes and are still looking for her to this day.

     I guess I like hunting, but I like my guy more.

    **************

     A whole year has passed since...well, since I said that the last time. Some people think 2017 was a garbage fire, but I think it was amazing. (If you have a synonym for 'amazing' that is better, please comment and let me know so I can sound more original.) In the future, I hope I can be more diligent in a lot of things, and one of them is writing. Because ohhhh, does this ol' keyboard feel good under my fingers again. :-)

     Happy New Year friends!! Here's to a good one!

    <3 Emma

from me and Henley

I paid ten dollars for a pumpkin.

     It was Halloween, and we at the stand were all out of pumpkins.

     Not that tragic, I suppose, except for the fact that I had to force myself to direct customers looking for pumpkins to the competition for the last few days of being open (and nobody wants to do that). I tried not to be sad about it, which meant not thinking about last year, when we had so many pumpkins left over that we lined our entire street with them at 12:30 AM on Halloween night. Every year has to be bad for something; this is farmer logic. This year was crappy for pumpkins.

     I made peace with the reality, this being the adult thing to do, until Halloween came and I realized I didn't have one single pumpkin to carve. Then I started to think about crying.

    My sister was going to go trick-or-treating with my cousins, so I drove her over to their house. She had saved a pumpkin to carve. In fact, after carving a face in it, she put it on her head. It is a mildly disconcerting experience to have a pumpkin-headed person in your passenger seat. On the way to my cousins' house, we passed an Amish place where several pumpkins were sitting out in the yard for sale.

     "You should buy one," my sister said to me.

     And I'm like, "Buy a pumpkin from someone else? Are you crazy?"

     But pride, as you will learn if you read your Bible, is a counterproductive entity. I dropped her off, headed back down the road, and swung in the driveway at the Amish house. Because if I'm going to buy a pumpkin that I didn't grow from anybody else, it'll be from the Amish.

    I went to the door, and the two cutest little boys in the history of the world over appeared on the other side of the screen. I explained to them I wanted to buy some (or all) of their pumpkins. The older one did the talking, told me the prices, and gave me change when I paid with a twenty. I thanked him profusely and went to load the pumpkins into my truck.

    The small white one I managed with no trouble. Zeroing in on an enormous pinky-orange one, I had every confidence in my ability to pick it up and sling it into the truckbed. Farmgirl power and all that. My confidence went from a ten to a five as I slid my hands underneath the bottom, then down to a one when I tried to lift it, and finally plummeted to a zero when I couldn't get the thing to budge at all. Okay, I thought, time to call someone.

    The door slapped shut, and out came the older boy. I'm guessing he didn't need my feeble explanation to know that I wasn't getting it, but I explained the situation to him anyway, because I like embarrassing myself. We both put our muscles to it, and still couldn't move the pumpkin. "It's heavy!" my Amish friend said, laughing, because I guess it was funny. Me, I felt rather sabotaged. First I had no pumpkin. Now I'd found one, and I couldn't even get it into my truck? What was this?

     Then the Amish boy had an idea.

     I watched him run to a shed near the cow pasture, kick through a pile of assorted cast-off lumber, pick out an old door, and bring it back to the scene. When I caught on to his plan I opened the passenger side door, he laid the door against the seat, and together, the little Amish boy and I rolled that son of a gun up the ramp and landed it inside the truck. I think it weighed somewhere between 90 and 900 pounds.

     "That's clever!" I said. He just shrugged and gave me the most adorable smile I will ever see in my life. "Thank you!" he said, and went off towards the house. I wanted to get a selfie with him but the sensible part of me had a rare moment of victory and I got in my truck and drove back home, pleased as punch that I had overcome such incredible odds and procured for myself, not only a pumpkin, but the biggest one I'd ever had. And I paid ten dollars for that thing too, which is not too shabby.

     When I got home, I realized I was never going to get that sucker into the house onto my dining room table. Plus it would take me a good three hours to carve it. So I dumped it (literally) next to the front door, and instead carved the smaller white one, while listening to Warren Zevon sing 'Werewolves of London' and compulsively eating Heath pieces. No trick-or-treaters came to our house that night, and we weren't up to any of our old tricks like some years before.

    Nevertheless my pumpkins sat proudly by the door; never let it be said that Emma can't find what she's looking for.


     What did you do for Halloween? Did you carve a pumpkin?

      ~Emma